Loki “The Squirrel Killer” Bob Warnock

Loki “The Squirrel Killer” Bob Warnock


This tiny terror of nature has been keeping the wildlife around our house in balance as mother nature commands it for the past year. Having seen such greatness embodied so elegantly within this cunning yet cute miniature fur lion, my fiancee and I decided to start feeding the silent killer. Some would say we were giving offerings to gain favor of the tiny fur God and they would not be wrong. Such an ally would pose a great threat to the quick annoying beasts that try to get in the attic of our house.

For one year we fed and wooed the deadly predator, as strong alliances needed to be forged. He was skittish at first but the rewards of tasty lunch meat where too powerful to withstand. I could see the doubt, mistrust in his eyes. Why should he trust the hairless ones? No one in Lakeside has ever shown him kindness. However, we might be different, maybe just stupid. We gave meat gifts.

A hardened stray he was. Fighting everyday for crumbs. Honorable enough to not get into the garbage. Watching us return from adventures, since that is when we share the meat bounty. I knew he believed he was hidden when he watched us from behind the safety of a bush with his very matted bushy tail waving like a flag. We were both on respectable missions; one for food the other to gain a deadly new ward for the home.

Before long, the matted fluff of fur is willing to get close as we feed him.

Then one day, I petted his predatory ass and found out the beast is not a beast at all. Scared of the goodness of head, chin, and butt scratches but addicted nonetheless from this point on. The addiction is worse than catnip. He’s gotta have the tasty lunch meats and caresses from the loving hairless meat monkeys.

Plucked from the mean streets and no longer a misunderstood killing machine the name
Loki “The Squirrel Killer” Bob Warnock was given.
Accepted into a new realm as a fur prince deserving the softer finer things in life.
Well, until he needed to be de-matted…


Loki as he sits upon his hundred pound pit-bull steed
contemplating his enemies demise 

Loki the newest boss to the family…

It Still Hurts

Alcoholic sickness
Drug impaired vision
Making every bad decision
Dismantled our relationship like car collision
Partaking in suspicious business
Had cousins bare false witness
Just to fuck around
With the most spineless of bitches
You swear they are nothing
Not even worth a discussion
Your world became fictitious
All your lies made my love diminish
You’re a fucking cynic
Now I’m up in a clinic
Feeling unhygienic
Stepping back regretting our past
You show up begging for forgiveness
Wanting a new beginning from the ash
But my heart still feels like road rash
So hard to forgive while punished by the past
The constant flashbacks of all that white trash
Burned into my memory cache

Head Case

Professional Victim
Manipulator of the system
Narcissistic conniption
Side-dish of sedition
Distortions of truth
Caricatures of people
Just reflections
Of your afflictions
Whispers of sexual suggestions
Just hard truths of sexual suppression

Telling lies, selling clickbait
Pick a due-date
Sad soul lying in wait
Water on your face
Bitch! Shut your floodgate
Fucking stories getting hard to navigate
Complicated retarded primate
Who let you procreate
What a sad waste
At any rate

You forgot your birthplace
You really thought you were great
A real fucking heavyweight
Holding rights to humiliate
To compensate for being a cheapskate
Checkmate, call Her to the gate
We all know you love Her body weight
Vomit every time you fornicate
Male prostitute activate
Fucking for coins and a dinner plate

Time to contemplate
How you ever fucked that face
I’d rather eat a glass case
But I guess when you paper chase
A little yeast is just first base
So sad for the human race
That you were able to alienate
And infect everyone’s safe place
Living in a self-made jail space
Victim of ones own made fate